Not so arcane things

 You know there's people who are stressed all the time!? The people who live in their heads so much with their anxiety- that it often ruins their reality? That person is me. I am not proud of the fact but sadly I do relate to it. That is probably why I suffer through most of the days of my (so apparently!) blessed life. I have been this anxious person for so long that I have probably become comfortable in this way of life. Until a few months ago, I was seemingly unaware of my masochistic delight at my own suffering. I had become so so so hardwired to be stressed all the time, to have anxiety attacks in the broad daylight. You know the works... So, here's the thing, I was stressed at my workplace as usual. Always freaking out, wondering if I am enough. Making things difficult for myself. This with difficult people to deal with didn't make things easy for me. It's been 6 months at my said workplace that I learned an important lesson today- it wasn't the person that wa...

I always looked at some people and thought- "...look at that Ace, seems to have his/ her lives all figured out!" However, off late I feel like I may be finally growing up and letting the glasses of my naivety fall off. I honestly do not believe anyone has their lives figured out. I mean if you do, kudos to you! Life just keeps shuffling. I feel like every time I convince myself I have managed to have a good footing, everything moves again. Does everyone feel this? Am I the only one? I have no idea anymore. I will admit this though- some have better proprioception for life-quakes than I do. I always seem to land flat on my arse every time my life changes! (Note to self: You really need to stop doing that! Start working on some proprioception training for Pete's sake! 😂)  It makes me wonder how people navigate through life stumbling less than I do? Where does one learn the rights and wrongs of proprioception training for the soul? Definitely not the kind of questions one m...

For a long time, I have felt this. I am convinced I am not alone. More than once I have had someone utter the words- "GOD! I just want to be held...LOL!" The  'LOL'  that can be used as an escape route at the end of that remark just breaks my heart! Honestly, it particularly saddens me that society has confined us in these, so called decorated barricades of 'propriety/ appropriateness!' Isn't it ridiculous that we conform to these norms so easily just to fit in?   Let's face it! Most of the people we label as weirdos, a tiny part of us also envies. The free spirits are frowned upon publicly for most part (until they find their own place to belong- something I hope to find someday soon!)! However, if we are straight up real to ourselves, we would have to admit that if not envy, one would at least try and imagine what it would be like to lead a life like that. Anyway, not one proper paragraph into the post and I seem to be digressing already! GAH! ...